—Prologue—

 

 

This tale is of a modern-day man of La Mancha and his quest for his Holy Grail—a father's love. And, while on his yellow brick road, like Dorothy, he encounters here and there some lessons in brotherhood—Well, maybe not exactly like Dorothy.

 

Our hero, Sol Woody, Junior—a pill-popping, full blown manic-depressive in his early thirties—is the CEO of that prestigious Madison Avenue ad agency “Isaac, Woody, Coody and Diddy”. The lofty post descending to him by way of Daddy's retirement.

 

Daddy, Sol Senior, learned his art of selling on  New York's Lower East Side, where the litmus test of a salesman was steering a customer from his needs to his dreams, and if it  happened to be an item from  the store's overbought inventories where commissions  were double, well, so much the sweeter for Sol Senior.

 

Senior quickly  rose to store manager and, in the course of his innovative promoting of store sales, he met this equally enterprising neighborhood printer, one Sol Isaac—one of  two reasons why Solomon Woody (Solomon, was his given name) was dubbed Sy; the other reason being—after Junior was born, Sol Woody sighed a lot.

 

And, when the two—Sy and Sol—found they came from the same town—Puttznanski, just outside of Leningrad—there was instant bonding.

 

Soon, Sol Woody sold his wife Rebecca's jewelry, yielded up his name to the stronger Solomon, and the printing-advertising firm of Sol Isaac and Sy Woody burst upon the scene.

 

The elder Woody had found his niche. He was a natural ad-man. New snappy product phrases—intermixed with knife-twisting stilettos into the hearts of the competition—spit and spattered like machine-gun fire from his cigar infixed lips.   His ads were in sharp contrast to the high-minded Madison Avenue crowd, whose cardinal rule was—"Never  recognize the existence of your competitor." 

 

Sy Woody changed all that. Simply put, Woody recognized the competition, then trashed it.

 

So a new era—what the Old Guard first blackened as libelous advertising, then, too late, embraced—issued forth with Isaac and Woody at the cutting edge.

 

Civility was tossed out the window, the gloves came off and everyone was taking his/her best shot. It was open season on mud slinging! And for Isaac and Woody business was booming. They got so big they took over the prestigious ad firm of Coody and Diddy and, not only moved onto Madison Avenue—but before the rest of the "Avenue" woke up— Isaac, Woody, Coody & Diddy was Madison Avenue.

 

Then, just when everything looked so grand, troubles began. New tax laws were passed and the firm soon found itself shelling out a hefty 40% to the IRS. 

 

Isaac didn't care but Woody had fits—He couldn't sleep. Finally he, again, turned creative—took  night-accounting courses at CCNY and  perfected the art of keeping two sets of books—One for the firm, the other for  you know who.

 

It worked. Woody’s nimble fingers sliced the Government's take  to 10%.

 

Now, 10% earmarked for Uncle Sam—didn't mean that's what he got—there was a middleman to this flimflam.

 

This skimming scam went on for years. Then it happened—The unprincipled IRS auditor met an untimely demise. And, when they popped opened his strongbox millions fell out, and out fell too, that damnable names-naming list.

 

Though Woody's name had been erased—it cost him a C-note or two—he sweated it for years.

 

Now, old, rich, alone and feeling guilty, the elder Woody has time, too much time, to reflect and second-guess on  life, and  family too, and how it all turned out…

 

These are the woes of Senior, but this tale is about Junior! So without further ado I give you—

 

“It Could Only Happen In New York!”

 

 Wait!  I  forgot to introduce  our...

 

 characters—

==============================

 

Our Hero—

Sol Woody, Junior.....................a pill popping manic-

                                                    depressive CEO

                                                     struggling and failing to

                                                     fill his daddy's shoes;

                                                       

 

Sol Woody, Senior, a/k/a          

Sy, Daddy, & Papa Woody........retired successful ad 

                                                    agency head, a tragic

                                                     figure taunted by past   

                                                     sins, his wife Rebecca,

                                                     Junior's antics, and  news 

                                                     mongrel Maury Yousonovich's;

                                                     

Eugene........................................Sol, Junior's black

                                                     chauffeur struggling

                                                     with Uncle Tom-ism

                                                     and  the black

                                                     experience;

 

The Spirit of

Rebecca Woody.........................from her grave she

                                                    rules the roost;

 

Maury Yousonovich....................grinning celebrity TV

                                                    reporter, nudjen and

                                                    nemesis to Papa

                                                    Woody;

 

Doc Mendelsohn.........................Junior's absentee

                                                    psychiatrist whose

                                                    main preoccupations

                                                    are sunning at Palm

                                                    Beach and stirring

                                                    Papa Woody's guilts;

 

Harry Boswell.............................next in line for Junior's

                                                    job; a vulture in the

                                                    wings;

 

Lawyer Ishmael Nussbaum..........the firm's zealous legal-

                                                    beagle who stands

                                                    ready to sue them all!

                                                    including the Supreme

                                                    Court;

 

Frank Perdue..............................the chicken czar out to

                                                    prove his chickens are

                                                    as tender as he is tough;

 

Cyndi Firestone..........................."The girl" and night-

                                                    goddess of  Junior's

                                                    dreams;

                 and...

An array of lesser merry minstrels

and kibitzers.